There’s no explanation about why Nancy has been reduced to a single word vocabulary which, in all honesty, makes it all the more funny. The kicker is that Nancy only has the ability to say one word – “no”. She works on the customer service desk at a Megamart alongside her best buddy and a boss who likes to think he’s her buddy, but is anything but. This article first appeared on Rethink Breast Cancer.Portrayed like an interactive visual novel, Negative Nancy is played out through the eyes of the titular Nancy. Whether the goal we choose is being more peaceful or just being a work in progress, when we redefine what a “good” life and “good” outcomes look like we make it possible to find joy and contentment outside of perfection. But psychologist Christa Smith puts it beautifully: “When we have a goal for ourselves and our lives that is bigger than being good, we become bigger than the critic.” The reality is, we can’t do everything right, and there’s no such thing as a perfect person. When we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves, we open the door to negative self-talk. And, more importantly, we need to remember them so that the next time Negative Nancy tries to criticize us, we have proof for why she’s wrong. We need to celebrate the little wins, the smart things we do, and the goals we achieve. So why do we feel like it’s OK to say things like that to ourselves? One way to beat our inner critic is to become our own best friend and choose to focus more on our positive characteristics. We would never call our best friend a loser, a failure, or an idiot. Prevent: Keep it from coming back Be your own best friend But we can be realistic, without the self-hate. I know what to do differently next time.” We don’t have to lie to ourselves. Instead of thinking, “I’m a failure,” choose to say, “I didn’t do very well on that project. Instead, start by saying neutral things that hint to a possible solution. Sometimes, the worst thing we can do when we’re thinking negatively is to force ourselves to say nice and positive things to ourselves. The next time you’re embarrassed or something didn’t go the way you wanted it to, call someone. Sometimes, talking to a friend can help us overcome negative self-talk in the moment. Usually the problem is actually quite solvable, we just needed to break it down and process it slowly. Stumbling over your words in an interview turns into: “I’m such an idiot, I will never get a job.” But putting these negative thoughts in perspective can help us find out what really went wrong. Negative self-talk stems from the downward spiral we let our thoughts go into. And, more importantly, stop listening!Īddress: Stop it in its tracks Put it in perspective Call out Felicia, The Perfectionist, Negative Nancy (or whatever name you so choose) for what it is. So next time negative self-talk creeps up, don’t just shrug it off as another anxious thought. And it makes the real problem clearer: We keep believing what the voice says. It stops us from looking at ourselves as the problem. Giving that negative inner voice a funny name can help us see it for what it really is. Some psychotherapists recommend naming your critic. It might seem extreme, but in order to get rid of negative self-talk, we need to be aware that it’s actually happening. If you’re unsure or you need some convincing that you struggle with negative self-talk, try jotting down the negative things you say to yourself throughout the day as it happens. And most of our thoughts happen without us even fully acknowledging them before we move on to the next one. We have tons of thoughts running through our minds every moment. Recognize: Call it out for what it is Be aware
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